When I initially heard the term "Highly Sensitive Person" I'll admit, I thought it was a term that someone coined and then built a theory around. In other words, I didn't realize it was actually an observable trait. But as I learned more and more about this, and as this term kept coming up in different spaces, I discovered that not only was I wrong, but I really resonate with the concept! In fact, I'm not at all ashamed to admit, I identify as a highly sensitive person. Let's dig into what this means.
What really made me think about this differently was discovering that researchers have identified over one hundred other species who have this sensory processing sensitivity in addition to humans! There is a similar trait of "responsiveness, plasticity, flexibility, or sensitivity to the environment" in fish, rodents, birds, primates, dogs, cats, horses, and even fruit flies!
So what does this look like in humans?
One trait I find especially important is that highly sensitive people may be more likely to “pause to check” in novel situations. I think of this as my slow-to-warm-up trait. It does not necessarily mean someone is shy, unfriendly, or uninterested. It may simply mean their nervous system is taking in a lot of information and needs a little time to orient before moving forward.
I often call this being an introverted extrovert: I like people, I like connection, and once I’m comfortable, I can be very engaged. But in a new situation, I usually need a little time to observe, orient, and get a feel for things before I fully jump in.
For many people, high sensitivity shows up as getting easily overstimulated by noise or light, feeling emotions deeply, or needing a lot of downtime after a busy social event—even if you had a great time. You might notice the second the mood in a room shifts, or feel as if the baseline volume of the world is turned up a few notches higher for you than for everyone else.
It can also show up in more internal ways. Hunger, pain, fatigue, body sensations, emotional intensity, or feeling keyed up or activated in your body may be harder to ignore. A constant loud sound may not just be annoying, but actually headache-inducing. A scratchy clothing tag may not just be a little uncomfortable, but totally distracting and intolerable. A certain song with a soaring melody may give you full-body chills or goose-bumps. Not every highly sensitive person experiences all these things, and not every sensory sensitivity is “because of” HSP. But it does speak to a nervous system that notices more, processes more deeply, and can become overstimulated more easily.
Sensitivity is not only about getting overwhelmed, though. It can also mean being deeply moved by beauty, music, art, nature, or emotional nuance. Some highly sensitive people experience ASMR, that pleasant tingly or calming response some people get from certain sounds or sensory experiences; frisson, which is that chills/goosebumps feeling that can happen when music or art feels just right; or other full-body responses to music, beauty, or emotion (ever wept because something is so beautiful? You might be an HSP!).
Understanding this about myself has been deeply validating. Many times I’ve felt like my needs were "too much" in certain spaces. Understanding I'm an HSP puts this in a different frame: I just process things differently, and as a result, my needs are different. For example: some people walk into a loud restaurant with TVs blaring and people shouting and think "FUN!" But to me, this is not an enjoyable time out! Another example would be a casino, or a shopping mall. Both of these places make me want to run towards the exit signs. And knowing this about myself, and having a name for it, helps me accept that this is just part of being me, and part of the beautiful diversity of being human.
Understanding this trait has also helped me take better care of myself. That might mean pacing myself, honoring my need for downtime, noticing when something feels off, or recognizing when I have simply had enough. It can also mean very practical things, like choosing the quieter restaurant, leaving the party before I’m completely drained, or giving myself full permission to cut the tags out of all my clothes.
I think it can also be helpful to say what HSP is not. It’s not currently a formal diagnosis, and it doesn’t explain every form of overwhelm, anxiety, trauma response, neurodivergence, or sensory discomfort. It is also not a sign that someone is fragile or incapable. For me, it’s a useful framework for understanding my needs with more compassion and less judgment.
Feeling like this might apply to you, too, but wondering how you get to a place of acceptance? Therapy can be a place to sort through what sensitivity means for you, what your needs actually are, and how to care for yourself without treating those needs like a problem. If this sounds like something you’re interested in exploring more, I’d be happy to talk with you about whether we might be a good fit for each other.